A functioning depressive.

Since being diagnosed with depression three years ago, its been a huge whirlwind. Good days, bad days, bed bound days, days of tears, days of strength, days of peace and days of unexpected mood swings. Anyone who struggles with depression understands that every day, even every hour is different, with a multitude of emotions overpowering…

a little bit of travel.

Last year I was finally able to get back a long haul flight and it was my best friends birthday and I was so excited that I could fly out the New Orleans to surprise her and I would be able to go back to LA and see all my friends. This was a real…

Recovery, pain and the next step.

The pain never leaves, it is like a constant toddler always hanging off the end of your leg. It never stops. I have the most incredible pain team, doctor and surgeon who listen to me, understand and work with me to come up with a plan to manage the pain. It has been three months…

Since the last.

It’s been a while. a lot has happened over the past year that has all seemed to happen very fast. I got taken into hospital again because they found another DVT and a constriction in my veins on my left side. Basically what happened on my right side has now happened on my left, I…

What depression feels like. 

Depression. It’s ugly, it’s dark, it’s isolating and it’s grey. Just when the sun begins to shine again; when you start to smile and your soul feels happier. This grey cloud starts to blow itself over. The days become confusing, the days begin to feel like a never ending mountain your climbing and the feeling of…

The wake up with a view

Finally I was awake, the pain was real, but I took one look out my window and I wasn’t sure if I was high or if I was really seeing this multi million pound view. I was looking at the houses of parliament on a beautiful sunny day. It helped me through the next 10…

The first surgery

I prayed, I prayed, I prayed. I had faith in God and in this amazing team. St Thomas is a remarkable hospital. Finally the day has come where someone a medical professional was going to help me. This was part one of two surgeries, I was having my ribs removed on the left side of…

The start

After my melt down I went to the doctor who helped me the day my mind and wall went crumbling down. She was wonderful we spoke about everything and suggested starting an AntiDepressant which I was hesitant to take but she said it would help for now, my aniexty, my insomnia, dark days and restlessness….

Lithuania 

So I haven’t been able to travel for a long time due to my blood clots, and I’m having serious travel blues. I miss walking and exploring a new city, embracing new cultures, meeting new people and hearing their stories of their town and country.  So a few years ago I got to visit a…

A taste of Poland 

I love food, I love trying traditional food’s whenever I go to a new place! Learning about eh history of the food, how it is made and why it became a tradition is so cool. And I LOVE PERIGIE I could eat it everyday in Poland it’s so yummy! It’s kind of like dumplings and…

A little trip. 

So after a breakdown, and finding Jesus I needed a break away, so my best friend phoned me and said she’d booked me a flight and I was to come stay with her for a while.  I feel in love with Poland in 2013, and go 2/3 times a year. If you’ve never been GO….

Of a new faith.

I was broken, scared, lost and angry. If you are not religious I understand this may not be your cup of tea, but this is just my story and how I survived being at the bottom. I didn’t grow up in a christian household, but I was raised by parents who also taught me to…